Wednesday, April 9, 2008

dreams broken.....and....mended....

So here she was…..lying on the bed with her head upside down…her hair almost touching the floor…. gazing blankly at the window right in front of her….the door was closed so that no one would disturb the much needed peace of mind.

Last few months and in particular last few years had been ones filled with turbulence, agony, stress…..She had grown to be a different person…for bad or for worse, she did not know. But nothing was the same. The fact that things had changed did not bother her so much as the fact that these things only made her hate herself all the more. Every decision turned out to be a big mistake. People around her pretended to like her….but she knew what they talked about her behind her back. There were, however some who liked her, no matter what. They accepted her as she was. They must be angels sent from heaven….who else would bear a person like me?....she thought.

As a kid she always dreamt of making it big in the world….making her parents proud. And when she was a kid she did everything in her reach to make her dream come true…..

Everything was so easy to achieve when she was just a kid.......

But then suddenly it was as if someone put a full stop to all of that. Dreams were now only ‘dreams’…..something that existed only when you sleep at night and which disappeared as soon as you wake up. Nothing in particular stopped her from moving forward….but she somehow hid herself in her shell….refusing to come out… disconnecting herself from the rest of the world. She started living in a world of her own….that existed only for her and no one else could see it. No one understood her or her world. In fact, she never let them.

Then as she grew up…she read about people conquering their fears, turning their dreams into a reality and all such things in these inspirational books and newspaper columns. Hope dawned once again and brought some relief. Maybe dreams do come true….perhaps miracles happen ...there is surely someone listening to my wishes, up there…

But years went by….and she did nothing about her dreams….her dreams co-existed with reality. Perhaps, she did not have the guts to follow her dreams. She did not know what to do with them…she did not know if the world of dreams that she lived in even existed. Fears overcame her…..and here she was…. living her life half-heartedly. Cursing herself every single day for the path she chose…..

She looked outside the window…..the world was upside down. Dreams, for her, were now mere mirages….which appeared as a pleasant sight on the sand in the midst of heat of the burning sun. And when you walk towards them….you realize that they are still quite far. So you keep walking and walking foolishly hoping to find them somewhere along your way…..only to realize, eventually that they are nothing more than illusions……so far away from reality….

But wait a minute….what would life be without a dream to fulfill? Would it even be worth living?.......if I’ve come so far there has to be some reason…...I am no loser…

Then she suddenly remembered a quote she read about 3 years ago....’when you wish for something and want it desperately.....the entire universe conspires to make your wish come true’.

She realized that nothing in this world can stop her from dreaming…she couldn’t do it even if she wanted to….she knew that her dreams won’t be mere illusions….that there is a purpose to her life. And perhaps, the purpose is to make her dreams come true, despite all odds….to learn to overcome the fears....put all the bad experiences behind her. And give those a** es who think that she is down and out, something to cry about!

She got up…..and looked around….everything was blurry.But as the blood rushed to her feet, everything became normal…..the world didn’t look topsy-turvy anymore…..it looked as beautiful as ever.And with a new-found determination she looked at the world with hopeful eyes.....that ,now,had a tiny sparkle in them..

7 comments:

SambY said...

hmm i get that sparkle many times and then again it get lost...i hope u can keep that sparkle aliive..:-)

pj said...

ya...its easy to lose tat sparkle...wats difficult is to hang on to those hopes....:)

پريانکا said...

:) Well written :)

Friendly nextdoor guy said...

wow
imagination/reality!!
hard to find difference

pj said...

@.....
thanx:):)!

@friendly nextdoor guy
thank u!...:)...but tats no imagination..only reality...:)

gunj said...

wat are dreams if they are never fulfilled?? if we never get up to realise thm??

pj said...

@gunj
so true....but wat wen u dont know wat ur dreams mean?...