Friday, May 2, 2008

Down-and-out...

Her eyes were fixed....on the lone tree standing in the distance. It's leaves rustling in the wind.....some falling down due to the heat they had borne for days and some due to the sheer force of the wind.They fell on the road below....being run over by cars.They lay there bearing the weight of those cars....coz they couldnt pick themselves up...they were all alone and helpless.

The road seemed busy....a thousand many faces passed by. But she didn't see even one of them.....she only saw past those faces.Gazing blankly at the leaves....

Till yesterday nothing of what was happening in her life made sense to her.She held her face in her hands and cried untill it almost soaked the clothes she wore. She introspected every thing that had been happening and tried to find out if there was a meaning to all of this.From those rose tinted glasses she wore all the time,she wondered if she was seeing an illusion.They had failed so many times before...they had betrayed her so many times before....could they been fooling her again??

That was all she thought of yesterday. Feeling helpless again, she chose to believe her rose tinted vision because there was no way to find out if it was cheating her.

But today as she looked through the same glasses....she saw the truth, that was hidden frome eyes for so long...She took them off and looked around her.And she found herself fallen to the ground....being laughed at by none other than her own conscience.

All this while, when she thought every thing was hunky dory, her conscience knew something was not right. It kept telling her to watch her steps time and again....but she was blinded by her own vision. It made her see what she wanted to see, blocking the reality from her sight. She walked in the darkness, darkness that her eyes saw as an aura of hope. And she was fooled into believing that what she saw was right.Perhaps that was the right path to walk on....after all her heart had wanted it and how could it be wrong?

Today, however, she had lost, once again. Lost to herself....she had failed herself. She had hurt herself once more.She was bruised and the wounds were much deeper this time.

She looked around but no one could help her.Why would they? They did not ask her to walk on the path she chose.It wasn’t a mistake they made, it was what she had chosen for herself. She had fallen in the same trap that had once left her badly hurt. It had then freed her from itself so that she would learn from her mistakes and be a better person.But perhaps she had forgotten all the lessons life taught her since then or perhaps she just chose to ignore them.

She lay there being laughed at.Her face covered with the dust that the wind blew. It hurt her eyes, it was telling her once again to open them up and stop living in dreams. She was now down with shame.Her conscience pricked her. She had betrayed herself for the umpteenth time......She dint know how many of such traps it would it take for her to realize that she kept expecting too much out of life,that the world is not the way it looks.....there is so much that is hidden behind it. So many mysteries, so much of bitterness lay behind the sweet masks of life.She dint know how to get herself together and move on.

More than believing in life she had to first learn to believe herself.And that, she knew, was a Herculean task.

The wind grew stronger.....and as the leaves kept falling to the ground she looked at them with teary eyes....they were being kicked and stamped upon by people ,mercilessly.

2 comments:

Xorkes said...

hey thats a nice story u´ve written.good imagination aaah!!
i suggest another title, its not better than yours though.. hehehe.. ´Deceptive vision´!!
by the way, what ya studying?

pj said...

@xorkes
thanx....but thats not imagination just a bitter truth.
i guess i m not too gud at fiction i write only wat i experience....things i cant tell someone.so somehow these things find their way out of my mind on my blog.
and tat somehow gives me peace..:)
m doin engg btw...:)