Haven't updated my blog since quite some time now.I didn't want to get back to blogging this way but here I am, doing what I am best at-writing a meaningless random post that is, well,....meaningless.
I often experience these moments , when I feel nothing.Yes, simply nothing.And most often than not it happens after a terrible exam.But its not just about studies though.A lot of things that should cause a normal human to react in a drastic way, leave me unfazed.
Now, you may be thinking...'so its good right?'But the truth is it doesn't feel quite alright.That is so not me!
Am I worried?No.Am I scared?No.Am I happy?Nope.Then am I sad?Or perhaps angry?Frustrated?Tired?no no no!
Then what is it that's going through mind?Simply nothing!
I am emotionless,not disturbed,not feeling too great either.....Almost feel like a rock.Yes!You hit it hard, you bang it somewhere, push it off a cliff.Do anything with it.....its least affected.
I feel like that rock, which feels nothing.
Worrying about things isn't a good idea but not worrying at all isn't all that good either!The word 'tension' has left me long time back.It haunted me so much in the past that it got tired of my indifference to it.
May be the fact that I've been on an emotional roller coaster ride all these years has turned me so impassive.
When things seem out of your control, they're better left to God.But then if God does all the working for me....what will I do?Shouldn't I be doing something??
But then , haven't I done everything in my reach to tackle these 'issues' already?
I am being torn apart between two worlds.But I am calm,not in a good way, but calm nevertheless.Not hopeless, not broken, not sad.But its not the other way round too.
Where have all the emotions gone???
I feel nothing right now!
I am blank.simply blank.