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Here without you buddy...

After meeting my school buddies after almost three years, I returned home quite late.I had a great time with them! We ended up talking on the most talked about topic these days- relationships.After all, it all boils down to 'love'.

Anyway,I came home, had my dinner and was sitting at my study table...well not to study(of course not!).I had this strong urge to talk to someone.
I picked up my cell phone, stared at it for a while and put it down.I picked it up again, wondered who to call and then put it down again.I must have done that at least 15 times before coming to the conclusion that there was no one who I could actually talk to at that moment!

There are so many people who know you in your life.Some people just 'know' you, some others are close to you yet not so close that you can share your feelings with them, there are some others who are just for namesake and then there are those who were once your best friends(I know this my sound grammatically incorrect) but aren't the same anymore.

It just struck me then, 'Oh! I don't really have a best friend!'

Life changed over the past one year and I wouldn't say people changed but its just that circumstances have changed.My best friend seems to have distanced herself(although not purposely) from me coz we don't share the same beliefs anymore.Yes, we talk and we help each other out, meet sometimes.But heck who am I kidding!? Things have changed!
And then there was someone -'the ping anytime and I'd be there' friend- who's moved so far away, quite literally.

It just felt like being alone in a crowd.

Then I had this conversation with God(in my head of course) and I kind of felt like He was saying...'I know your situation my child.But I am here for you, listening to every thing you have say'.

Yea,(I said to myself, smiling) I know You're there!

But deep down a little part of my heart wished if there was someone(apart from Him) who when I called understood what I felt and what I had to say even when I was silent.


The Lover said…
Hmm...the ping friends wishes he could be available whenever you need him...alas..he has a busy life now and regrets not being able to keep in touch wid you as much as he used to..but still...when a ping doesn't work...a miss call probably will...he carries calling cards now :D so instead of chatting he can call you! :D try it!!
pj said…
@the lover
Yea, busy playing mafia wars?:P

No, seriously I know you've gotten busy, that's not the problem.I am happy that you have things to do other than just than being online 24x7.
Its just not the same as it was talking to you before.

Thanks anyway:)
TP said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
TP said…
pj...u knw wat..
just 2 days ago i had the same feeling..
tht i've gt no best frnds!thinking hard as to whom i can call my bff!
dunno coincidence or wat...
but i realized tht thrs no specific defn of a best hw cn i judge thm...and u really dnt need to find 1 or name some1 as ur best frnd..
the ppl whom u love...and who love u unconditionally definitely r ur best frnds fr life!! :)
so stop thinking abt it..ok
pj said…
I guess in a way you are right.Its just that sometimes you really need to someone to be with you and listen to you.

But that's ok!Coz life goes on anyway!!
The Lover said…
hehe yea mafia wars is addictive :P

well see it this way...I left you with someone else to talk to! ;) yea i know many who know Him complain that He doesn't talk much...but as they say..actions speak louder than words...and you of all people should know that His actions speak the loudest! ;)
Abhishek said…
I know how u feel. I have done that with my phone so many times.. pick it up and go through the entire phonebook and still not find a number I can dial and then there were times,when I had the dial-anytime, meet-anytime friend , and things changed between us. I do have really close friends though, some of them who have always stood by me through thick and thin. But I do miss those friends that I lost over these years!
pj said…
@The Lover
I agree.But why are we 'talking' here, on my blog??:P:P
pj said…

I can understand.I feel exactly the same way!:)
But I guess time changes and so do situations.And you cant expect people to be the same either.Leave alone people, you cant guarantee that you'll be the same too!!Its just how things are.
There are 3 kinds of people:
Some who take a moment to know you,
Some who take a little more,
and still some who never do.
pj said…
You missed out on one more category...
those who never even try to understand you.

I have met all these kinds:)
pj said…
I guess we all have met such kinds at some time or the other.
he he... yeah we all do.. :)
Carmel said…
Ah PJ! You've hit the nail on the head... I guess it's a matter of people growing up, moving on, changing phases or whatever they call it... It goes from a time of having a best friend to a time of having a group of really close friends... I don't know why but may be because the best friend also grows up or moves on and has many other different things to do... But you know what... they always remain very fond of you and may be the 'ping whenever you need' just changes into call or text message or email or something like that...
pj said…
I agree,true friends,remain fond of you always.