Six months from now I would be graduating with one of the most prestigious degree in my hand.I can write..'BTech' after me name.
Sometimes I ask myself "Are you even 10% of a software engineer??"
I wonder at times, if I went back in time and had taken up a course in commercial arts wouldn't I be happier?After all I was fond of arts when I was in school.The other day I was looking at one of my friend's album on facebook.She studies at J.J. School of arts and they have their fest going on.As I looked at those paintings and the creativity I wished I could do all of that!! But why go back in time? Would I do it now if at all there was a choice?...*thinks hard*....hmmm...not sure.
When I passed my board exams, there was always this desire to join an NGO and work for people.I was more inclined towards working for the under privileged and specially kids.Even today when I see those little kids selling books at railway stations and in crowded trains and see them working so hard for so little, I wish I could go ahead and do something for them.When I see salesmen slogging and elderly people delivering couriers (perhaps even harder than I would have) and see people slamming their doors on them and shooing them away I wish I could do something.But the best I can do is smile at them appreciating their work and maybe sometimes simply pray for them.
And then there is this deep desire to travel all round the world and spread God's word.I want to go to different places go rock climbing and trekking and live my life to the fullest .
Do I hate studying? No. But over the past few years I have grown ignorant towards studies.Sometimes I wish I could have put in more effort. But some how even today its not working out.
I wish I had a job where I could work for like three days a week, travel to places I want for two days, spend one day working for the under privileged and on Sunday just go to church and worship all day long.Perfect! But if only wishes were horses!! :P
So that leaves me with just one question, "am I really an engineer?" To be frank, No.That was someone I wanted to be once and want even now but only halfheartedly.At heart though I am some one else.But who??
*takes a long pause*
I wish I knew!!
(I am such a confused soul, aint I? :P)