How do you feel when the two people, you care about the most in the world, tell you...."yea, just go ahead do your own thing, you don't know our worth, don't even care about us" ??
You lose your sleep worrying about them, your heart aches to see their hearts break, you turn around just to put a smile on their face and all that you get is "you don't even care!!!"
Sometimes pain and sorrow become so much of a part of your life that you simply get used to it. You don't long for happiness or that hope. You just want to sulk and be left alone with your loneliness.
Today I couldn't take it anymore and walked out of the house in the evening (only to return later).I rejected frantic calls from them, took a walk in the park in front of my old building(and looked at my house every time I passed that place), talked to my childhood friend Soniya who's relocating for a job and gave the location preferences for the job (Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore...in that order) amidst all other things.
I wished the order was reversed since “home” was the last place I wanted to be at.But at the same time,I know I wouldn’t have done that since I cannot live without them....because I really care for them. Probably, off late, I’ve been too much into my own mess to share their burden but I care a lot more than they think I do....and my heart knows that and so does He...