Thursday, April 29, 2010

"You don't even care".....(yeah right!!!)


How do you feel when the two people, you care about the most in the world, tell you...."yea, just go ahead do your own thing, you don't know our worth, don't even care about us" ??

You lose your sleep worrying about them, your heart aches to see their hearts break, you turn around just to put a smile on their face and all that you get is "you don't even care!!!"

Sometimes pain and sorrow become so much of a part of your life that you simply get used to it. You don't long for happiness or that hope. You just want to sulk and be left alone with your loneliness.

Today I couldn't take it anymore and walked out of the house in the evening (only to return later).I rejected frantic calls from them, took a walk in the park in front of my old building(and looked at my house every time I passed that place), talked to my childhood friend Soniya who's relocating for a job and gave the location preferences for the job (Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore...in that order) amidst all other things.
I wished the order was reversed since “home” was the last place I wanted to be at.But at the same time,I know I wouldn’t have done that since I cannot live without them....because I really care for them. Probably, off late, I’ve been too much into my own mess to share their burden but I care a lot more than they think I do....and my heart knows that and so does He...










8 comments:

Dhanya said...

New here! I can totally identify with this (coz I am going through the same emotions right now). Maybe coz those people expect more from you that causes all the problems. I'm keeping a distance from few such people at the moment :) Just giving them space to think...

Jesse "Gigman" Alex said...

hey what happened yaar?? will call you tonight...

Prianca said...

"Sometimes pain and sorrow become so much a part of your life that you simply get used to it."

Nailed it!
It's a phase. happens. ppl whom we love often fail to realize our importance at a time when they should. but that does not mean they do not value us at all, right?
Give it some time. Shall pass. :)

pooja said...

hey Dhanya

I guess sometimes its just no body's fault.People just get swayed by emotions and say things in a fit of rage.I crossed my line too that day.So I shouldn't really be blaming anyone.

And you cant really distance yourself from your parents can you? :)...

and yeah...welcome to my bloggg! :D

Pj

pooja said...

Jesse "Gigman" Alex...!,

thank you so much...:)

pooja said...

Prianca,
yeah they love you too, and that's why they expect out of you.
:)

pj

neha said...

I personally feel no one should expect anything from anyone. Only one should expect things from oneself, because its only us...and us who know ourselves the best. Others try, know us too..but not like we know us. So the whole expectation thingy then brings us down when not fulfilled and upsets us even more when others dont understand!


PS: Did you understand what I wrote? I couldnt express it in any other way. I think I have become very complicated! :-p

pooja said...

@Neha
totally understood it! after all we think alike ;)

Yeah, expecting out of anyone except God himself is wrong.I mean no one is perfect after all and we cant expect everyone to behave the way we want them to.

Pj